Negotiation

Core Mindset

1. People want to be understood - Satisfy their need to feel safe and in control through active listening
2. Listen to discover, not to argue - Treat assumptions as hypotheses; let them reveal surprises
3. Focus on needs, not positions - Tangible demands mask emotional needs (respect, security, autonomy)
4. Never split the difference - No deal is better than a bad deal; avoid lukewarm compromises
5. "No" is the starting point - "No" means "not yet" or "not this way"; it makes people feel safe
6. Aim for "That's right" - Better than "yes"; signals genuine rapport and understanding
7. Stay calm and positive - Emotions are contagious; slow pace enables clear thinking
8. Unconditional positive regard - Respect them as a person regardless of disagreement

Quick Reference: Key Techniques

Negotiation Workflow

Phase 1: Preparation

1. Research the counterpart (background, pressures, constraints)
2. Define your goal and BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement)
3. Prepare an Accusation Audit - list every negative they might think about you
4. Draft 3-5 Calibrated Questions to uncover their needs
5. Identify potential Black Swans (hidden information that could change everything)

Phase 2: Opening

1. Use friendly, positive tonality as default
2. Start with Tactical Empathy - demonstrate you understand their situation
3. Deliver your Accusation Audit early to defuse objections
4. Encourage them to say "No" - it makes them feel safe and in control

Phase 3: Information Gathering

1. Mirror key phrases to encourage elaboration
2. Label emotions as they emerge ("It seems like...")
3. Ask Calibrated Questions ("What's the biggest challenge here?")
4. Listen for pronouns: "I/me" suggests less authority; "we/they" suggests decision-maker
5. Watch for Black Swans - anomalies that reveal hidden constraints

Phase 4: Bargaining

1. Set your target price (what you actually want)
2. Open at 65% of target
3. Raise in decreasing increments: 85% → 95% → 100%
4. Use precise, non-round numbers on final offer ($10,230 not $10,000)
5. Include a non-monetary bonus with final offer ("...and I'll include X")

Phase 5: Closing

1. Get "That's Right" before proposing solutions
2. Apply Rule of Three - confirm agreement 3 times in 3 different ways
3. Follow every "yes" with "How...?" to ensure implementation
4. If they go silent, ask: "Have you given up on this?"

Handling Common Situations

• Stop immediately: "I want to be fair. Have I done something unfair? Let's discuss it."

• Don't counter immediately; use calibrated questions: "How did you arrive at that figure?"

• Send: "Have you given up on [the project]?" - triggers "No" response

• Diagnose: Are they (1) ill-informed, (2) constrained, or (3) hiding something?
• Use calibrated questions to uncover which

Counterpart Styles

Voice and Delivery

• Default voice: Positive, warm, light-hearted (with a smile)
• Critical moments: Late-Night DJ Voice - slow, calm, downward inflection
• After key statements: Pause 4+ seconds
• Watch their nonverbals: 7% words, 38% tone, 55% body language

Resources

• references/techniques.md - Complete technique breakdowns with examples and psychological triggers