having-difficult-conversations
Compare original and translation side by side
🇺🇸
Original
English🇨🇳
Translation
ChineseHaving Difficult Conversations
进行艰难对话
Scope
适用范围
Covers
- Planning and delivering clear, respectful, direct conversations about performance, behavior, expectations, and decisions
- Turning “insight about feedback” into concrete artifacts: brief → talk track → reactions plan → follow-up
- Using Radical Candor as a default stance: care personally + challenge directly
- Preserving dignity in high-stakes moments (especially layoffs/terminations): private, human, and unambiguous
- Separating feelings from attributions so feedback stays specific and actionable
When to use
- “Help me prepare a difficult conversation with my direct report / peer.”
- “Write a talk track for performance feedback (with specific examples).”
- “I need to deny a promotion—help me be direct and still leave hope + a path.”
- “Prepare a layoff/termination conversation talk track (I have HR involved).”
- “Draft a follow-up message after a hard conversation that documents next steps.”
When NOT to use
- You need to decide whether to promote/terminate (use your company’s performance process; involve HR/leadership)
- You’re handling harassment, discrimination, threats, or an investigation (stop and follow HR/legal policy)
- You need legal advice, severance guidance, or policy interpretation (involve HR/legal)
- The situation is a mental health or safety crisis (seek professional help and follow company policy)
涵盖内容
- 规划并开展关于绩效、行为、期望与决策的清晰、尊重、直接的对话
- 将“反馈见解”转化为具体成果：摘要 → 对话流程 → 反应应对方案 → 跟进
- 以**彻底坦诚（Radical Candor）**为默认立场：个人关怀 + 直接挑战
- 在高风险时刻（尤其是裁员/解雇）维护对方尊严：私密、人性化且明确
- 区分感受与归因，让反馈保持具体且可执行
适用场景
- “帮我准备与直属下属/同事的艰难对话。”
- “为绩效反馈撰写对话流程（含具体案例）。”
- “我需要拒绝员工的晋升请求——帮我做到直接坦诚，同时保留希望与改进路径。”
- “准备裁员/解雇的对话流程（我已经联系了HR）。”
- “起草艰难对话后的跟进消息，明确后续步骤。”
不适用场景
- 你需要决定是否晋升/解雇员工（请遵循公司的绩效流程；联系HR/领导层）
- 你正在处理骚扰、歧视、威胁或调查事件（立即停止并遵循HR/法务政策）
- 你需要法律咨询、遣散费指导或政策解读（联系HR/法务）
- 情况涉及心理健康或安全危机（寻求专业帮助并遵循公司政策）
Inputs
输入信息
Minimum required
- Conversation type (feedback, performance, promotion denial, layoff/termination) + relationship (manager/report/peer)
- Desired outcome (what should be true immediately after + in 2–4 weeks)
- 2–5 concrete examples/facts (what happened, when, impact) + expectations/standards
- Constraints: timeline/urgency, location (in-person/video), HR/legal involvement (if applicable)
- Any support you can offer (coaching, resources, training, timeline, check-ins)
Missing-info strategy
- Ask up to 5 questions from references/INTAKE.md (in 3–5 question batches).
- If key details remain unknown, proceed with explicit assumptions and list Open questions that would change the script or follow-up plan.
- Do not request secrets or sensitive personal data; use anonymized summaries.
最低要求
- 对话类型（反馈、绩效、晋升拒绝、裁员/解雇）+ 关系（管理者/下属/同事）
- 预期成果（对话结束后立即达成的目标 + 2–4周内的目标）
- 2–5个具体案例/事实（事件内容、时间、影响）+ 期望/标准
- 约束条件：时间线/紧迫性、沟通地点（线下/视频）、HR/法务参与情况（如适用）
- 可提供的支持（辅导、资源、培训、时间安排、跟进检查）
缺失信息处理策略
- 从[references/INTAKE.md]中提出最多5个问题（分3–5个问题为一组）。
- 如果关键细节仍不明确，基于明确假设推进，并列出待解决问题，这些问题可能会改变脚本或跟进方案。
- 不得要求机密或敏感个人数据；使用匿名摘要。
Outputs (deliverables)
输出成果（交付物）
Produce a Difficult Conversation Pack in Markdown (in-chat; or as files if the user requests):
- Conversation brief (context, decision/outcome, facts, success signals, constraints)
- Message map + talk track/script (opening, key message, evidence, impact, ask/decision, support, boundaries, close)
- Objection + emotion handling plan (likely reactions, what to say/do, what not to say/do)
- Follow-up artifacts (written follow-up note + next steps/check-ins; optional documentation note)
- Risks / Open questions / Next steps (always included)
Templates: references/TEMPLATES.md
Expanded guidance: references/WORKFLOW.md
Expanded guidance: references/WORKFLOW.md
生成一份Markdown格式的艰难对话工具包（可在聊天中直接生成；若用户要求，可生成文件）：
- 对话摘要（背景、决策/成果、事实、成功标志、约束条件）
- 消息框架 + 对话流程/脚本（开场、核心信息、证据、影响、要求/决策、支持、边界、收尾）
- 异议与情绪应对方案（可能的反应、应对话术/行动、禁忌话术/行动）
- 跟进成果（书面跟进记录 + 后续步骤/跟进检查；可选文档记录）
- 风险 / 待解决问题 / 后续步骤（必含内容）
模板：[references/TEMPLATES.md]
扩展指南：[references/WORKFLOW.md]
扩展指南：[references/WORKFLOW.md]
Workflow (8 steps)
工作流程（8步）
1) Intake + classify the conversation (and set safety boundaries)
1) 信息收集 + 对话分类（并设定安全边界）
- Inputs: user request; references/INTAKE.md.
- Actions: Determine conversation type and stakes. Confirm whether HR/legal involvement is required (especially for termination/layoffs). Decide deliverable scope (full pack vs just script + follow-up).
- Outputs: Conversation type + constraints + assumptions/unknowns list.
- Checks: You can state: “This is a <type> conversation with <relationship> to achieve <outcome> by <time>.”
- 输入：用户请求；[references/INTAKE.md]
- 行动：确定对话类型与风险等级。确认是否需要HR/法务参与（尤其是解雇/裁员场景）。决定交付物范围（完整工具包 vs 仅脚本+跟进记录）。
- 输出：对话类型 + 约束条件 + 假设/未知事项列表
- 校验：你可以表述为：“这是一场<类型>对话，对话双方为<关系>，需在<时间>前达成<成果>。”
2) Define the outcome and non‑negotiables
2) 定义成果与不可协商事项
- Inputs: intent; constraints.
- Actions: Write the “desired after” (immediate + 2–4 weeks). Identify non-negotiables (e.g., decision already made, behavior must change, timeline is fixed). Decide what support you can offer and what you cannot.
- Outputs: Outcome statement + non-negotiables + support menu.
- Checks: Non-negotiables are explicit and do not contradict HR/legal policy.
- 输入：意图；约束条件
- 行动：撰写“预期达成状态”（即时 + 2–4周后）。明确不可协商事项（如：决策已确定、行为必须改变、时间线固定）。确定可提供的支持与不可提供的支持。
- 输出：成果声明 + 不可协商事项 + 支持选项
- 校验：不可协商事项明确，且不违反HR/法务政策。
3) Build the fact base (specific examples, not labels)
3) 构建事实基础（具体案例，而非标签）
- Inputs: examples/facts; expectations/standards.
- Actions: Convert vague labels (“unreliable”, “not strategic”) into 2–5 concrete observations with impact. Separate facts from interpretations. Prepare a short “evidence” list you can calmly repeat.
- Outputs: Evidence bullets + expectations statement.
- Checks: Each example is time-bounded, observable, and tied to impact.
- 输入：案例/事实；期望/标准
- 行动：将模糊标签（如“不可靠”、“缺乏战略思维”）转化为2–5个具体的、有影响的观察结果。区分事实与解读。准备一份可冷静复述的简短“证据”列表。
- 输出：证据要点 + 期望声明
- 校验：每个案例都有时间范围、可观察且与影响挂钩。
4) Draft the message map (care + directness + hope/path when relevant)
4) 起草消息框架（关怀 + 直接 + 必要时保留希望/路径）
- Inputs: outcome + evidence + support.
- Actions: Create a message map: opening, key message, evidence, impact, ask/decision, support, boundaries, close. For disappointing news (e.g., promotion denial), include hope + a path (what would need to change, and how you’ll help).
- Outputs: Message map (ready for scripting).
- Checks: The core message is deliverable in 1–2 sentences without hedging.
- 输入：成果 + 证据 + 支持
- 行动：创建消息框架：开场、核心信息、证据、影响、要求/决策、支持、边界、收尾。对于负面消息（如晋升拒绝），需包含希望与改进路径（需改变的内容，以及你将提供的帮助）。
- 输出：消息框架（可用于撰写脚本）
- 校验：核心信息可在1–2句话内清晰传达，不含含糊其辞。
5) Turn the map into a talk track/script (with pauses)
5) 将框架转化为对话流程/脚本（含停顿提示）
- Inputs: message map; time box.
- Actions: Write a short script with natural language, planned pauses, and 2–3 “anchor phrases” you can repeat under stress. Add 3–5 questions that invite understanding (not debate).
- Outputs: Talk track/script.
- Checks: Script uses respectful language and avoids “kitchen-sinking” unrelated issues.
- 输入：消息框架；时间限制
- 行动：撰写简短脚本，使用自然语言，规划停顿点，以及2–3个可在压力下重复的“锚定话术”。添加3–5个邀请对方表达理解的问题（而非引发辩论）。
- 输出：对话流程/脚本
- 校验：脚本使用尊重性语言，避免掺杂无关问题。
6) Plan logistics (privacy, timing, who attends, documentation)
6) 规划后勤细节（隐私、时间、参与人员、文档记录）
- Inputs: constraints; HR/legal involvement.
- Actions: Choose private setting and sufficient time. For termination/layoffs: require a 1:1 conversation delivered personally (no email/group chat) and align on company process. Decide what you will document and what you will not.
- Outputs: Logistics plan + documentation plan.
- Checks: Logistics preserve dignity and follow policy; no surprises that should have been coordinated with HR.
- 输入：约束条件；HR/法务参与情况
- 行动：选择私密场所与充足时间。对于解雇/裁员场景：需以一对一私密对话的形式当面告知（不得通过邮件/群聊），并遵循公司流程。确定需记录的内容与无需记录的内容。
- 输出：后勤计划 + 文档记录计划
- 校验：后勤安排维护对方尊严且符合政策；无未与HR协调的意外事项。
7) Anticipate reactions (emotion vs attribution) and write response options
7) 预判反应（情绪 vs 归因）并撰写应对选项
- Inputs: relationship history; likely reactions.
- Actions: Create a reaction map (shock/anger/sadness/defensiveness). Draft empathy statements, listening moves, and boundary lines. Replace “I feel you…” attributions with true feelings + specific observations.
- Outputs: Objection + emotion handling plan.
- Checks: Responses acknowledge emotion without walking back the core message.
- 输入：关系历史；可能的反应
- 行动：创建反应地图（震惊/愤怒/悲伤/防御）。起草共情话术、倾听技巧与边界设定话术。将“我觉得你…”这类归因表述替换为真实感受 + 具体观察结果。
- 输出：异议与情绪应对方案
- 校验：应对方案认可情绪，但不撤回核心信息。
8) Follow up + quality gate
8) 跟进 + 质量校验
- Inputs: full draft pack.
- Actions: Draft the follow-up note (summary + next steps + check-in). If appropriate, draft a documentation note aligned with policy. Run references/CHECKLISTS.md and score with references/RUBRIC.md. Add Risks / Open questions / Next steps.
- Outputs: Final Difficult Conversation Pack.
- Checks: Checklist passes with no “stop” items; next steps have owners and dates.
- 输入：完整草稿工具包
- 行动：起草跟进记录（摘要 + 后续步骤 + 跟进检查）。如有必要，起草符合政策的文档记录。使用[references/CHECKLISTS.md]进行检查，并通过[references/RUBRIC.md]进行评分。添加风险 / 待解决问题 / 后续步骤。
- 输出：最终艰难对话工具包
- 校验：Checklist无“停止”项；后续步骤明确负责人与日期。
Quality gate (required)
质量校验（必做）
- Use references/CHECKLISTS.md and references/RUBRIC.md.
- Always include: Risks, Open questions, Next steps.
- 使用[references/CHECKLISTS.md]与[references/RUBRIC.md]。
- 必含内容：风险、待解决问题、后续步骤。
Examples
示例
Example 1 (performance feedback): “I’m a manager. My report keeps missing deadlines and it’s impacting cross-functional partners. Help me prepare the conversation and a follow-up plan.”
Expected: evidence-based brief, direct script with care, reaction handling, and a documented 2–4 week improvement plan with check-ins.
Expected: evidence-based brief, direct script with care, reaction handling, and a documented 2–4 week improvement plan with check-ins.
Example 2 (promotion denial): “I’m denying a promotion this cycle. I want to be clear and still leave hope + a path.”
Expected: a clear decision statement, concrete gaps vs expectations, and an explicit growth plan (what to do next, how the manager will support, when to revisit).
Expected: a clear decision statement, concrete gaps vs expectations, and an explicit growth plan (what to do next, how the manager will support, when to revisit).
Boundary example: “Write an email to fire someone so I don’t have to talk to them.”
Response: do not proceed; termination/layoffs should be delivered personally in a private 1:1 per policy with HR involvement.
Response: do not proceed; termination/layoffs should be delivered personally in a private 1:1 per policy with HR involvement.
示例1（绩效反馈）：“我是一名经理。我的下属总是错过截止日期，影响了跨部门合作伙伴。帮我准备对话与跟进计划。”
预期成果：基于证据的对话摘要、关怀且直接的脚本、反应应对方案，以及一份记录了2–4周改进计划与跟进检查的文档。
预期成果：基于证据的对话摘要、关怀且直接的脚本、反应应对方案，以及一份记录了2–4周改进计划与跟进检查的文档。
示例2（晋升拒绝）：“我要拒绝员工本次的晋升请求。我想做到直接坦诚，同时保留希望与改进路径。”
预期成果：明确的决策声明、与期望的具体差距，以及清晰的成长计划（下一步行动、经理将提供的支持、重新评估时间）。
预期成果：明确的决策声明、与期望的具体差距，以及清晰的成长计划（下一步行动、经理将提供的支持、重新评估时间）。
边界示例：“写一封解雇邮件，这样我就不用和他谈了。”
回应：不得执行此请求；根据政策，解雇/裁员需在HR参与下，以一对一私密对话的形式当面告知。
回应：不得执行此请求；根据政策，解雇/裁员需在HR参与下，以一对一私密对话的形式当面告知。